Joy Like Honey

Joy runs like honey, thick but slow to reach–yet still there…

Just as You are…

Job’s Friends Still Know Nothing

Job’s friends are as ingnorant today as they were in his own day.  The idea that a man can judge the heart and intentions of another when he does no even know his own is tragical.

Fighting Annoyance

Perhaps the most difficult challenge I face at the present time is fighting annoyance with the Almighty.  How ridiculous to be irritated by the One who made me and yet as every day drudges on and I become a part of helping others’ dreams come true, my own lay dormant like a stillborn child in a womb fit for nothing.  I am like a midwife delivering babies for others while still childless myself.

And yet I am to rejoice even in this, for who knows what will become of those children.

RE: Ministry

Working unto the Lord alone is the only way you will survive ministry.  If you do not see your ministry or job from this perspective, you will become distracted with the issues and problems of your work space or church and cease to be effective.

Are you a number in the minds of some?  Probably.  But never in the mind of God.

Now I must repeat this to myself at least fifty times so that I do not curse anyone out this week.

Lying About Numbers?

I ask God to help me with avoid exaggerating.  I cringe when I hear myself stretch truth to the very last inch simply to impress people.  So imagine when I found out that my church has more members than I ever see on a given Sunday.  Not that we don’t have a lot of members (we have at least 1,000-2,000) but I learned from a very high profile ministry last week that my church has over 30,000 members.

That is a straight lie—whoever told it.  Perhaps that’s too strong.  Let’s just say that someone made a very big mistake and I hope it’s cleared up.  I am not accusing my own pastor of being the culprit.  I do not believe for a minute that he would perpetuate such a sham.

A Word From the Pit

Depression is something that good Christian folks are not comfortable with.  That might explain why I’m more comfortable sharing my dark nights of the soul on the internet than with someone else.  While I’m thankful that I have one friend I can share anything with, a lot of saints don’t have that luxury of having anyone they can trust to pray them through.

The problem with many Christians is that we think if we simply slap some Bible verses on people that the depression will magicly lift as if we were living in the land of Oz.  Don’t misconstrue my comment as an attack on the power of God’s Word.  It’s anything but the sort.  There is power in the Word but thankfully it ain’t magic (that would be witchcraft!).

If we weren’t so busy faking our way through life, perhaps we could ministers to nonbelievers who have the same issue.  I’ve battled depression without drugs.  I’ve preached some of the most powerful messages of my life while at the same time not having a word in due season for myself.  I’ve literally had to drag myself out of bed to get to work because “that’s what servants do.”

Is depression always the result of sin? Hell no.  Sometimes it is.  Some of my depression revolved around me refusing to hear God on anything and doing my own thing.  I earned that bout.  But what I’m facing now?  Hell, I’ve went down the checklist:

1. hidden sin?  no
2. overt sexual sin issues? no
3. strife with fellow ministers/staff? no
4. consistent Bible study time? most definitely
5. prayer? good but not great
6. unconfessed sin i missed from 7 years ago?  no

Knowing and understanding God at all while you’re in the pit is pure unadulterated hell.  The strain warps our view of God and potentially numbs us to even the fiercest cries of hope.

I am still sitting in a pit, trying not to let the pit become a pitty party but it’s damn hard when you see your heathen friends living it up and enjoying the pleasures of life you.  I won’t be here forever.

A Theology of the Goodness of God

Is God good?

Yep.

Is God really good?

Yeppers.

Is the goodness of God all good for me?

Nope.  The goodness of God hurts like a #$^@*(#!  Too many times, we silly Christians believe that the goodness of God only includes good feelings.  What a crock of crap that one is to swallow.  On the contrary, the goodness of God is a spectrum rich with good things and bad, pressuring the hell out of us and conforming us into the image of Christ.

A definition of the goodnes of God in Realtime:

The all-encompassing love of God for His own glory, which includes His love for humanity and desire to reconcile us to Himself.  That said, He disavows your dreams, desires, and wants in favor of what He knows is best for you and what will glorify Him most.  The goodness of God is not Him sparing your child from death when the neighbor’s child died of the same disease.